Dear magnanimous beings, whom conspirators consider the bringers of an apocalypse,

Greetings from an earthling. How are you doing? Fine, I am sure. Those twin suns must be shining on your prosperous cities and you all must be monitoring the entire Universe. But a few days ago, when you were looking at your screens and checking out planets with organic life forms, you must have found Earth; that planet with those two legged things on it? You must have found something wrong. There were no gatherings, no common lunches, and no marches with funny people screaming into an amplifier. I duly understand your confusion and will attempt to clarify your doubts. There is nothing wrong, really.

You see, there is a new microscopic organism (a virus, for human references) called the SARS_COV_2. This organism tends to corrupt humans’ (for biological references – homo Sapiens) bodies, and can sometimes be fatal. It spreads through the contact of surfaces and can infect people very easily. However, by not meeting many other people and staying in their dominant habitat, they can avoid the virus. That’s why you are not seeing many people out. But don’t worry my friends, the world has not come to a standstill and humans aren’t going extinct; in fact, our behaviour is normal.

There are sometimes people out on the streets, eating at restaurants and pubs, unaware that they will have to foot the bill for the hospital too. There are people who still do those tiring jobs that humans call “essential services,” and some humans even attend the gatherings of the funny white hat men, and perform comedies as usual.

In fact, we can say it made things better in some parts of society. Like, how the overall ecosystem of Earth has improved. You see, humans, thought that they were the most powerful creatures in the world (which is wrong, it is obviously the Parastratiosphecomyia stratiosphecomyioides). And they went about trying to eat up nature’s resources. The natural system of Earth was actually preparing to drown the planet in a month (20 years in human reference). But now that the virus is here, people are staying in their homes, and the wild is happy again. They can finally live in peace without humans, and their habitats are thriving.

So my friends, all in all, while the virus may be bad, and the funny white cap comedians are yet to come up with serious stuff; we are quite alright. And we will be back in business within a month.

Earthling no: 66613
(Ishaan Varior)

P.S – Do you have any devices that can help me create a force field around me? I am willing to pay 100 Quasar units. After all, no contact remember?

P.P.S Did you know on Earth we call the comedians world leaders?





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